Four key ingredients for using your divorce to launch into paid work
Most of our stay-at-home parent clients tell us they are terrified about what financial life will look like as a single person. They are pleasantly surprised to learn that they can use their divorce as a launchpad into a new season of paid work.
Using your divorce to launch into the workforce
Recently, we’ve worked with several couples where one spouse was a stay-at-home parent. For many of these couples, years ago they had run the math and came to the same conclusion; the high cost of childcare meant it made sense for the lower-earning spouse to stay home.
Most of our stay-at-home parents tell us they are terrified about what financial life will look like as a single person. They ask:
Will I be able to afford decent housing?
I haven’t worked in years. I’m basically starting over. How will I ever get to the point where I earn enough money to pay my way?
To get a good job, I will have to go back to school. Can I afford to start school now? Or should I focus on finding a job?
How will I pay my bills once child support and spousal maintenance ends?
Our clients are pleasantly surprised to learn that they can use their divorce as a launchpad into a new season of paid work. We’ve seen many stay-at-home parents exit their divorce process with a solid plan for joining the workforce, and there are some commonalities among those cases. Here are four “key ingredients” for using your divorce to successfully launch a stay-at-home parent into the workforce.
Key ingredient #1: Self-motivation
Wanting to have money and wanting to work for money are two different things.
The stay-at-home parents with the best chance of launching into the workforce are those who are motivated from within to find paid work. They have an intrinsic drive to do whatever it takes to earn an income. These parents are like athletes hungry to win, who wake up each morning with renewed optimism and energy to find paid work. For these individuals, failure is not an option.
Key ingredient #2: A willingness to sacrifice other important things
Along with self-motivation, both spouses must be willing to prioritize the stay-at-home parent joining the workforce over other activities and expenses that were previously important to the family.
The reality is that when both parents are in the workforce, there may no longer be a parent available to do things like managing and transporting kids to athletics and play dates and/or volunteering at the school. Sometimes, nearby family members or paid caregivers can step in to fill the void. But if that’s not an option, both parents will need to take a hard look at their priorities and assess which activities and responsibilities are no longer feasible.
Key ingredient #3: A supportive spouse
Though not a dealbreaker, it is extremely helpful when the breadwinner spouse is both emotionally and financially supportive of the stay-at-home parent’s goal to work outside the home. Emotional support means a willingness to be flexible, to be patient, and to have a can-do attitude. Financial support means providing the stay-at-home parent with the financial resources necessary for success, which could mean tuition for going back to school or paid childcare to give the stay-at-home parent time to study or work.
Key ingredient 4: A divorce process that empowers creativity
Mediation and Collaborative Divorce are two divorce options where the couple is given the creative license to craft a divorce on their own terms, and that meets the unique needs of both parties. In these divorce processes, clients are encouraged to consider outside-the-box solutions. Mediation and Collaborative Divorce provide the space for couples to figure out how both can thrive financially moving forward. For stay-at-home parents, this includes developing a game plan for joining the workforce.
If you are a stay-at-home parent getting divorced, contact Serene Divorce Planning at 425-903-8188 to learn more about how you can use your divorce to launch into paid work.
This information is educational in nature and should not be relied upon for legal or tax advice. Serene Divorce Planning LLC is not an attorney and does not provide legal or tax advice. Individuals seeking legal or tax advice should solicit the counsel of competent legal or tax professionals knowledgeable about the divorce laws in their own geographical areas. Serene Divorce Planning LLC does not sell or consult on securities.